Pole Dancing In The Dark

I'll see you again, Marge

After a year where there were still more good days than bad - but the bad days were catching up quickly, my grandmother passed away. She passed on Monday, February 19, on her 69th wedding anniversary- 18 days after her 91st birthday. I guess my granddad got sick of waiting for her.

I was there, at the hospital when she took her last breath. I had never seen anyone die before. I knew she was gone before my aunt took her pulse to find nothing. I'm still not sure how I feel about the whole being there thing, but I am grateful that I had a chance to say goodbye and tell her I love her.

I'm not sure how the grandparent thing works for most families, but our family is pretty close. My grandmother's was a place we went all the time. Her house was walking distance from my parents and we'd pop in whenever we could to visit with her. She was a wonderful woman. She spoiled all of us rotten. She always had M&Ms for my brother, peanut butter cups in the freezer for my one cousin, stella dora cookies for another and before she broke her tooth on an peanut M&M, she always had them for me.

She also had this sense of humor that caught me of guard. For example, this past christmas, my mother and I decided to bake cookies at my grandmother's house as way to include her in on the festivities. Her health wasn't the best and taking her out was insensible. I was making peanut butter kiss cookies and she was helping by rolling the dough into balls before I would dip them in sugar. The balls she made were huge, and I kept asking her to make them smaller. I was starting to get exasperated with her stubborn refusal to make them smaller and she was getting sick of me asking her to do so. Then she said, "You are being too picky, besides, I like my balls big!" I laughed so hard my ribs hurt.

Then she continued to make huge honkin' balls with this devilish gleam in her eye. She was having fun with me and seemingly enjoyed my chastisement.

Her funeral is tomorrow. I have to do a reading for it and I hope I have the strength to make it through with out sobbing like an idiot.

Marge, please help me have the strength to do you proud. I miss you like crazy all ready. I'm sorry I didn't get you the cookies I made you on time. But I am glad that you are no longer suffering, no longer taking all those medications that seemed to do more harm than good, and I am glad that I had time to spend with you those last few days. I wish there was more that I could have done to ease your pain. I wish I had spent more time with you in the last year. Thank you for all the jokes, the vacations at Kiawah and for your wonderful personality. I hope to be more like you in the days ahead. I am looking forward to the time where we will see each other again and then you can introduce me to Clem.

Rest in peace and know that I love you.
MEM
February 1, 1916 to February 19, 2007

Posted by Ethne at February 23, 2007 09:34 AM | TrackBack