Pole Dancing In The Dark

Friday Humor

Hubster just sent this one along... (I don't know if it has been making the rounds and I am too lazy to find out right now...)

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes
with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Glock cal .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds
before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was
stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!

I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"

~~~~

This was an actual news story posted in the Out There section of Fox News:

GERMANTOWN, Tenn. (AP) — A man wearing only socks was arrested along a busy street after witnesses said he fired a gun at afternoon traffic.
Temperatures were in the 40s when the incident occurred Tuesday. Police said no witnesses were injured.

Glenn Higgs, 44, of Germantown, was charged with reckless endangerment, indecent exposure, firing a weapon in the city limits and public intoxication, authorities said.

"I couldn't believe it," said Eddie Cox, who was driving home from the bank when he saw the naked gunman in this Memphis suburb.

Cox called police, who arrested Higgs at the scene and found a revolver in a nearby yard.

Higgs was sent to a hospital for a foot injury sustained when he earlier jumped from the second story of his home, authorities said.

Am I the only one seeing the irony of the witness' name?

That's all.

I said turn left!

Sir, yes Sir!

I know, I need help...

Posted by Ethne at December 2, 2005 02:31 PM | TrackBack