Hubster just sent this to me. I am not sure if it has been around the block a few times or what have you, but it is my first time seeing it. And I wanna share...
"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other asshatted bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure. This includes music/video piracy, stealing cable and filtching software. If you didn't buy it, it isn't yours.
ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!
(lastly....)
ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. (edited to dissolve the illusion that I agree with the seniment. I don't.)
Sensible people of the United States speak out because if you don't, insensible people will.
If it's called common sense, why don't more people have it?
Pretty funny. I have seen it before, and the main argument I have is with the last clause.
The founding fathers were Deists, Christians and agnostics. They knew that not all people believe in the same God or religious teachings. Therefore, they wanted to ensure that no one religion was thrust on the good folks by law or through government interference they were prevented from practicing their own brand of religion in their churches and homes.
The "IN GOD WE TRUST" phrase was only incorporated into our money in the Fifties, as a direct result of McCarthyism. The same goes for the pledge - "under God" was inserted by law in the Fifties, so it is not part of our founding heritage - they are both relative new-comers.
Just thought I'd share.
Thanks
I would agree with the assesment of the last clause as well. Hubster and I don't see eye to eye on it, but that's just how it goes. However, the "In God We Trust" has been on our currency since 1864, it can't all be blamed on McCarthyism.
Fact Sheet, Currency and Coins
Thanks for stopping by. :)
Posted by: Ethne at August 4, 2005 09:41 PMAmusing, though somewhat repetitive. First time I've seen it. Though I must also take issue with two of those articles.
While I agree with the sentiment behind article 10 - that immigrants should assimilate into the culture as best they can, including learning English - the attitude is misplaced. English may be the de facto language of the country, but it is not the legally official language. Until it is made so, there's really not that much room to complain.
As for article 11. Funny, I thought this country was founded on personal liberty. America is not, and has never been a Christian nation. It is a nation filled with mostly Christians. There is a difference. It was not founded on the belief in one true God, it was founded by men who held that belief. And as maybeso points out, not even all of them held that particular belief.
Though I must correct maybeso on one point: it is true that "under God" was added to the pledge in the 50s as well as "In God We Trust" to *paper* money, but it first appeared on coins in 1864.
Posted by: Ystros at August 4, 2005 09:50 PMI agree on the god point, that is why I deleted it. I didn't have enough time earlier to edit it. Heck, I'm a devout agnostic.
Also, I am going to correct Ystros: According to the fact sheet, in God We Trust wasn't added to paper currency until mid 60's. McCarthyism (and McCarthy's career) ended 10 years prior.
Posted by: Ethne at August 4, 2005 09:57 PMSorry Ethne, I have to disagree on that last one.
Posted by: Lucy Stern at August 7, 2005 02:01 AM